


Pride

by BloodMoonGhost



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, No Dialogue, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 15:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20623274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodMoonGhost/pseuds/BloodMoonGhost
Summary: Tony spent his childhood hunting for Howard Stark's praise, and his adulthood proving he had never actually needed it anyway.





	Pride

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly never watched past the second Captain America, so if there's inconsistencies you have my half hearted apologies.

Tony had tried all his life to be as much worth in his father’s eyes as the great, amazing, wonderful, sadly lost Steve Rogers, Captain America, MIA. Nothing he ever did was good enough. He was a verified genius, but Howard Stark would barely look up from the bottom of his glass unless he was refilling it or chasing after another possible lead to find a man who wouldn’t even be alive anymore. Tony graduated from college with his first degree before he was 20, something he knew the captain had never accomplished. Howard Stark missed it while searching for signs of a crashed plane in Greenland. Then he died.

Tony had by then learned nothing would get him his father’s attention in the way that any child desires. He mourned his mother, respectfully sat through his father’s wake, and left the company that he had grown to resent in the care of Obadiah Stane. He partied, drank, slept with anyone who caught his eye, all the things Howard Stark would have found despicable and sullying of the Stark name. But Howard was dead, so it no longer mattered what he thought. And even if it had, Howard Stark would have still cared more about finding the body of a science experiment more than the reputation of his only heir.

Then Afghanistan happened. Tony knew weapons did damage. Everyone did. But weapons built for the good guys were supposed to target the bad guys. Except for some reason, they didn’t. Waking up with a car battery attached to your chest does things to a person’s brain. Finding out the man you had seen as an uncle was trying to kill you might take second place. 

And that was when Tony knew. His father’s stories had always been about a man who would willingly go to his death to prevent anyone from getting access to a way to harm others. A man who was like a storybook hero, with shining morals and a self sacrificing attitude. As Tony Stark, that wasn’t possible. Shutting down all weapons works and becoming a hero of another sort, maybe. At the very least he could repent for all the weapons that had been grossly misappropriated.

And then the Palladium poisoning began, and he knew that his time was too short to truly repay the world as he felt was needed. Even with the involvement of Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D, there was no way he would ever live ling enough. He was only a human after all.

When the captain was found, Tony Stark funded the expedition to pull him out of the ice. To have found the captain alive was far more than he had ever expected, and just once, tony allowed himself to wish his father was still alive to see it. Just once, Tony allowed himself to feel a soul crushing grief over the loss of his father.

And then he found out what kind of man the Captain was. Just a normal human with just as many faults as the rest of them. A man who was only of consequence because he had been chosen to play human guinea pig. Howard Stark had practically abandoned his wife and son for someone with the same black and white sense of good and evil as a five year old. It burned. Then there was Loki and the aliens and the portal and a sense of ohmygodI’mgonnadie and Isthiswhatmypurposeis?isthiswhatitfeelslike?

Tony Stark woke on the broken streets of New York, still the same man as he ever was, but with a better sense of what it was like to truly sacrifice yourself. Grudgingly, his respect fir the man caught in the wrong time grew just a bit.

But then the captain decided to protect his friend who was brainwashed and technically no longer the soldier Steve Rogers had known… Over turning in the killer of Howard Stark, the man who had spent years looking for a body to bring back, who had left his wife and son in the dust to bring back a friend… Tony was incensed. He understood loyalty, his father had had more loyalty to this man than he had towards his own family. Sure, the winter soldier had been Barnes, had been the childhood friend of the man who became Captain America, but Barnes was gone, the winter soldier was the one who killed Howard and Maria Stark, and the captain that Howard had looked for for so long was protecting his killer from his son.

Then it was all over. After Ultron, taking the spider-kid under his wing, everything he had done… None of it mattered when facing the mad titan. The spider-kid dead, the captain gone, everyone dust or energy. 

When they went back in time, Tony knew he had to succeed where his father had not. He was blessed with Morgan, he kept track of the captains whereabouts, trained Peter into an acceptable heir for his place in the avengers. This time when he willingly went to his death, he understood. The captain had taken the plane down for the ones he loved, everyone else was a bonus. Howard Stark had many reasons to try and find him, whether it was survivors guilt or to fulfill some promise made to himself, Tony didn’t know. 

As he took the gauntlet, Tony knew the ones he loved would be safe, knew they would beat this mad titan with his sacrifice. The pain in his heart at having to leave it all behind was outweighed by the knowledge that he was doing right by himself and everyone around him. It no longer mattered what Howard would have thought, what the rest of society would think. Those that mattered knew, and those that knew were the ones he hoped would be proud of him.

When he had breathed his last, Tony almost though he heard it, the soft, warm, 'you did it son, I’m proud of you' and his descent into darkness felt somehow lighter.


End file.
